Assertiveness: Balance between passive and aggressive

Being assertive means being able to stand up for your own rights in a calm and positive way, without being either aggressive or passively accepting what you don’t want or don’t agree with. Assertiveness means standing up for your personal rights - expressing thoughts, feelings and beliefs in direct, honest and appropriate ways. By being assertive we should always respect the thoughts, feelings and beliefs of other people.
Being passive in situations: Is this you?
A classic passive response is offered by those who say 'yes' to requests when they actually want to say 'no'.
For example:
“Do you think you can find the time to wash the car today?”
A typical passive reply might be:
“Yes, I'll do it after I've done the shopping, made an important telephone call, finished the filing, cleaned the windows and made lunch for the kids!”
A far more appropriate response would have been:
“No, I can't do it today as I've got lots of other things I need to do.”
Assertiveness is equally important at work as at home.
*If you become known as a person who cannot say no, you will be approached by people who want to unload their tasks on you.
Tips for assertive behavior:

1. Use “I” statements: Be clear and direct:

        “I would like you to give me a refund”
  2. Describe how another person’s behavior  makes you feel
        This makes other people aware of the consequences of their actions:
        “When you raise your voice it makes me scared ... I would like you to speak                   softly 
   3.  Stick to your guns - the broken record technique
      This involves thinking about what you want, preparing what you might say, 
​       then repeating it as necessary:
       “I would like a refund ... Yes, but I would still like a refund ... I’ve heard what you
       have said but I still want a refund”